Love Letter: Can Polyamory With a Monogamous Partner Work?


Navigating the nuances of an intimate relationship can be complicated, especially if one partner identifies as polyamorous and the other partner identifies as monogamous.

When Silva Kuusniemi, the writer of this week’s Modern Love essay, first started dating her boyfriend, their differing orientations had its perks. Ms. Kuusniemi felt that his other relationships made him an excellent communicator and seeing each other only twice a week made it easy to keep her social calendar intact. However, as their feelings deepened, she no longer wanted to be the third girlfriend.

Angela Horan didn’t know how long she had left to live when she first met Gary Bergstrom on a dating app in 2015. She had recently been diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, a life-threatening heart condition that required a heart transplant. When Mr. Bergstrom learned of her condition on their first date, it didn’t faze him at all. Almost a year into their relationship a heart became available. On March 20, at their seven-acre property in Myakka, Fla., the couple invited 300 guests to their extra-large outdoor wedding, which was both a celebration of love and life.



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